You know, I have this Blog, and on it, I am supposed to talk about everything that makes me tick. Or so I am told.

I am told that this is the new form of intimacy in our virtual culture, this is how we "get real" with one another these days, although I find the very nature of that statement, a virtual memoir to many gracious, reading strangers, not to be very "real". In fact, I find a blog to be ridiculously antithetical to "real" — the whole process of getting to know one another through the written word, in spurts and digital imprints, none of which have a voice, or a pulse, or even — an opinion, outside of what we create the written page to say.

I thought I would be a better blogger, because I have a lot to say about a lot of topics, but in fact, I'm lousy at it. I'm lousy at deciding that anything I would have to say, on a personal level, would be of any interest to anyone in particular, moreso than what THEY would have to say, on any given subject. In short, I'm just not convinced my opinion is that interesting, to be captured indefinitely, or until the server crashes, on the blogasphere. 

Perhaps so much of my life is spent "in public", that my emotional opinions enjoy their privacy?

Or perhaps I just like to keep my emotional cards a little closer to my chest than I thought I did.

I really like to read other people's emotional blogs. I really like to see what makes people soar, and what makes them happy or sad, and I sincerely enjoy reading about other people's opinions.  I find that I am slow to offer my own, unless I am REALLY passionate about something. I think this "slow on the draw" opinion casting comes from years and years of balancing the strange, sick and wrong plate-spinning dance of the politics in entertainment. You say one thing to one person, and the next thing you know, you're hearing a completely different version of the same thing you said coming from another person.

You learn to chose your words carefully. It's not that you are disingenuous in your opinion, only that you rarely offer an opinion, because God only knows what version of that opinion is going to circulate through the ranks, and come back to kick you in the hind-end later on.

I have a blog on MySpace, and  I tend to throw online some crazy thoughts and experiences there, whereas that environment, to me, more supports a little goofing around. But there's something about this blog that's different to me, and I can't pin it down. This seems more serious in here, or maybe that it's so singular, with only my opinion, not simply a sea of opinions in many other seas of opinions, all there for a casual glance, like MySpace?

I do encourage everybody to take a gander at my blog on Myspace, because it does tend to be a lot of fun — www.myspace.com/danielle_egnew

I'll work on sharing my thoughts and ideas, but for today, the only thought I have is that if you're reading this, I am really grateful you'd take the time to do so.  And if you're reading this, know that this isn't me attempting to "get real" with you,  because not only do I find that saying to be juvinile and insulting on a number of levels, so I would never direct it at another person in seriousness — I find that it's an impossibility to do, as virtual and hyper-constructed as is the nature of this medium.

But, know that this is just me, giving you a shout out. And in effect, musing publicly, which seems to be such a strange practice to me, though I love reading it when other people do it.

I don't know that I'll ever be the big emotional online-diary-keeper. At the end of the day, I've discovered that I'm a little too private for that.

If you want to read my emotional diary — check out my song lyrics. Now THAT'S a medium where I just puke my emotional guts up, for everyone to see, all jagged, and ugly sometimes, and stinging sometimes, and eye-watering sometimes, or cutting sometimes, or just plain ragged. I noticed that a lot in my lyrics on my album Red Lodge.  

Here's to everyone out there who is comfortable with laying their heart on their sleeve, in print, for all to see. For me — I'll keep my heart in my song lyrics, and keep my sense of humor online!